After Death is called the Afterlife
by Warfang
Summary: Wow. This story really came from hating Desmond Tiny. Seriously. What if the story continued without him, right? His power as Destiny is only limited to one dimension, and he is not a god. They just bend rules, not break them, after all.
1. Chapter 1

Author : WARFANG

Series : THE SAGA OF DARREN SHAN

Ownership: If I did, then this would be the story of their heroic overthrow of the evil lord, Desmond Tiny. Larten would fake a believable death. People still die. Plus, wolves and leopards would share the mountain. Done ranting.

Note- That is not the summary. This picks up where the books end (still not done reading them all, but hey, that's the internet) with a funny notion called the afterlife. And yes, there is some slight AU. Like the following…..

AAAG!

The resounding yell shook the apartment complex. Figures in the kitchen and adjoining living room glance around. The ones already outside hurry faster, wanting to escape the terror of one EX- Vampaneze Lord.

"CREPSLEY!"

The elder vampire snorts softly into his coffee. "I think someone found his pill box was missing."

The figure bobbing around the island and dishing out scrambled eggs turns to him. "And I wonder why he thinks you did it, Mr. Crepsley?"

"Possibly because you wouldn't, Darren."

Death hadn't been an all-bad experience. Sure, the body turned cold, and Darren had to wander back out of the Lake of Lost Souls, but everyone eventually got here. Well, wherever here was.

Footsteps thundered down the steps, into the first floor. The Foyer to go up into the Apartments was separated by a wall, the back entrance guarded by a pass code on the second level. Never mind that that was the only locked door in the place, and that the ground level was free access. At least Steve was coming down the right staircase.

The child that whipped around the doorframe and into the Kitchen threw everyone for a surprise- but only for a moment. Having more to atone for, Steve had wandered the longest in the Lake of Lost Souls, not to anyone's surprise. The side affect was that Steve's age reflected the mindset he was in, and rage tended to reduce him to a temper tantrum seven years old.

Seriously. Everyone remembered what he had done in the body of an adult with the one heck of a grudge.

"Yes?" Crepsley queried, seeing Steve stand there and glower at him.

"The pills are missing."

"You might have misplaced them."

"…..In the toilet."

Crepsley sat up straighter, laying the paper aside. Steve's body blurred until a sixteen year old firmed, showing he was highly upset, but believing that Crepsley wouldn't go that far, as evident by his surprise.

"&^$."

The human curse was bitten off, and then Gavner headed for the steps.

"I'll check the scene, and for any stashes. Steve, this could get ugly."

"Thanks." The voice was not curt, nor was it grateful. Steve was just polite to Gavner. He really…well to use the adage 'The past is set in stone.' Steve punished himself by never letting go of the past.

Darren sighed and moved on to the pancakes. Steve would sooner or later get over beating himself up and move on to being a regular terror. The kind that had, just last week, every vampire and Vampaneze gasping and crying from laughing so hard at a well timed dry witted remark.

Steve had smiled.

And then fled back to his room.

Now the present morning a week later with a situation set up for dire consequences. Steve sometimes had guilt trips. The kind that had him in a seizure. Not everything that happened in the past had been planned. Everyone had gotten a bad enough shock when Steve had finally showed up.

"_You do realize that by the time the painkillers kicked in, I was dead."_

"_You're welcome, Mr. I-got-caught-by-the-enemy-and-have-to-die-now-whoops. I told you not to move until my signal. I was hoping that you were just having a drama queen fit."_

"_Nope. Just wanted to let Darren kill you instead. I sincerely believed that he would have hated me-even for the briefest instant- if I killed you instead."_

"..._Selfish prick. But I can relate to that."_

The pills were just plain aspirin that kept his heart going for the day, until the drug was used up fighting the now infrequent seizures- that still happened after two months. Everyone else had been here four years.

Mr. Crepsley, was, understandably, denouncing Steve when Darren first arrived. Later inspection of Steve's life, however, was giving the fair minded vampire a harder time not to see an abused child.

The reunion of the vampires and Vampaneze was not unnoticed either.

The driving points in everyone giving Steve a second chance were the times in Steve's life where he forgot all about Darren. The orphanage, his time as a P.I., keeping in touch with Annie by letters and sending her five figure checks because they both agreed that they did not share couple love and each reminded the other of her DEAD brother so much that to be closer, they lived apart.

In Steve's own word's, Darius was to keep her company.

When the Vampaneze had seconded that Crepsley was drugged, they explained that Steve told them that one) you are getting tortured and two) losing feeling in your limbs and seeing the damage to them is a psychological effect.

Uh huh. Yeah right. Summed up the attitude of everyone after a closer scrutiny of his memories.

Steve sighed and wandered around the island, shooing Darren away so that he could start cleaning the dishes.

* * *

Well? What do you think?

If this is absolutely hated (it is not Steve-centric, the characters change, but if these are the only ones I know, well….blame the internet) then I can modify this to a oneshot and leave as is. But I really wanted to put them in a New Life, where everyone is dead and see them evolve. I was thinking schools and corporations and other dead people (not OC's, just, c'mon, everyone dies.)

Love it? Confused? Something so glaringly wrong you can't stand it?

Review.


	2. Chapter 2

While I wait to get my hands on the next novel (grrr to anyone who gets in my way) I decided to flesh out how the character's arrived at the "After Death is called the AFTER LIFE" realm.

Author: WARFANG

SAGA OF DARREN SHAN: DO NOT OWN (if I did, then Crepsley would have spanked Steve and set him on the right path with some old fashioned discilpine (Note: That ends all suffering! Wel, okay, the Vampeneze would then captureSteve, reveal him to be their new leader, torture him to accept his role, and all the vampires led by Mr. Crepsley and Darren would save him.) A/N: Dangerous to leave me alone with my thoughts. And no, that is not the story plot)

Chapter 2

The Lake of Lost Souls was not such a dreary place, Darren decided. The people here just were not used to company.

Not caring to be left alone in here for eternity, Darren swam (ran, jumped?) up to the nearest soul.

"Hey!" He greets. "How are you? I'm Darren."

The spirit springs from the crouched position and hugs Darren. Then Darren felt a weight on his chest, then nothing. The spirit had vanished.

"Uh…what?"

"You noticed her."

Darren got whiplash from twisting around to see the speaker. THE voice chuckled. "You can't see me. And that is just fine. I am composed of what cannot be seen."

"Such as honesty and virtue?"

"….maybe."

"THAT which is not seen but the effects of are?"

"Close enough."

"So you are not all good."

"Highly perceptive. Why do you say so?"

"Well," Darren replies, kicking off (Of what?) to the next spirit, "Steve had an illness in his heart. One was from jealousy. I never suspected and sometimes brushed it off as just needing someone, attention, since he lavished me with anything that I wanted. But no one seemed to want Steve."

Darren lands near the spirit, and had the curious sensation of wading towards the figure.

"Also, the last time I had a voice in my head, I wound up killing Steve. Funny how such small choices lead to huge disasters."

Darren glanced up where he wanted to go and noticed a physical change. Spirits in the Lake looked very much like ghosts, except that the light here, not spectral glowing, highlighted the pale looks.

"He was starved of love."

Turning to the spirit, Darren focused on reaching this new person.

"Are you scared?" The spirit cocked a head at him.

"Of being alone? Yes." Darren replied.

"I was left alone. You will be too."

"Well, I just noticed that there were so many people here, and well….I need help finding someone. I was hoping that I could get some help."

"You are such a greedy little brat, only thinking of yourself."

Darren reeled from the venom.

"No. I just need help."

"And you offer some form of temporary alliance to others to get your ambitions?"

"That wasn't what I was-"

"Go away. Your kind sickens me."

Darren swelled up at this. Helping others in need was a decent virtue. He wasn't coercing the guy or anything.

"Do you have no shred of humanity left?! I just asked for some help. A 'Sorry, I can't.' would have been understandable! There is no need to bite my head off. Now, you may be having a bad time- I know I am- but some decent civility would be preferable."

The spirit settled into the clothes and twitched towards Darren. The air of one ready to strike back, to propagate a fight was in the air. Darren remembered the feeling from his adventures against Murlough. He swallowed his anger.

"I'm sorry."

The spirit flinched.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you. The guy, Steve, as in male, that I am looking for has long silver hair and piercing eyes. If you see him, please call me. Thank you."

Darren bit back the bile of 'Or not, if you have that disposition', and turned to leave.

"No…"

Darren turned around, the plaintive note resounding as the thunder clap from one streak of lightning, an odd motion of jerking his shoulders to one side, and then throwing the same leg out to catch himself.

"I should not have taken out all these years in here on you. When you stay for a while, you see others arrive, see them wear down, and after awhile, you stop caring. On of the Cardinals of being lost is despair. I gave up the fight. In fact, I remember overhearing some others older than I that this was originally a purgatory, a place to reflect and move on."

The spirit snorts.

"Well, you can see what happened."

Darren peered around himself. The space he was suspended in contained many levels, much as the sky does after dark. Darren connected that the physical and real dimensions of the lake were two separate areas.

"What, did they forget to add an exit?"

"I do not know. But, I will keep an eye out for your friend. And be careful. Spitefulness is a kinder version of the madness infesting this place. You-just be careful."

The spirit made shooing motions at Darren. "Do you really want me to leave?"

The spirit nodded. "Okay. I'll be back."

THE spirit ducked its head and grimaced, an expression of how unused he (it?) was unused to politeness. The spirit then turned around and motioned to a nearby spirit….

Darren left, talking to the new Voice.

"Okay, this place is really starting to be strange. First, I am having an irrational fear f being alone after having everyone with me. Now I am talking to a voice that I don't know where It comes from, I can't find Steve, and he's the reason I'm here."

"No he isn't."

Darren glared at where he hoped the Voce was located.

"Yes, he is."

"You are wrong."

The voice was patient, a parent waiting for an erroneous child to realize their own mistakes.

Darren scowled at his feet and resumed walking, which was funny, as he had been drifting along the whole time.

"Of course Steve is the problem. He-" Darren bit his tongue.

There he was! Down there, talking to people clustered around him, drawn by the motion Steve filled the abyss with.

"STEVE! HEY!"

Darren jumped and waved his arms. Steve did not react. The others around him looked up. Their faces held sorrow. A truth they knew and couldn't bear to share with him. They shook their hands and curled further away, knowing what had happened to them was transpiring again.

"He can't hear you."

"Why not?" Darren was frustrated. Steve was down there. Laughing, and ignoring him. The masses would soon obscure Steve from him. To Darren, the people were dragging Steve further down, farther away….

Darren attempted to jump off and follow, only to find he was moving backwards.

"Dammit!"

Darren meandered back to the talkative spirit. "Hey, remember me? I'm back!"

The spirit looked up.

"I found Steve, but I can't get near him. Why?"

The spirit gave him a long look.

"That is, what is physically keeping me from him? I mean, after all we went through together and apart, I was hoping to talk to him. Everything may not work out, but I want to take that chance. I want him with me."

"Oh?" Asks the voice. "Then what are you doing here?"

The memory of his time in the Lake vanished. He had not meant to leave Steve, but he had been physically removed. _No! I have to help Steve! I won't let the darkness engulf his soul, he wasn't all bad, just driven! He has to come to me! I have to help him. Because…because…_

Darren woke up screaming "Because I need him!"

Panting, he looked around the hospital bed.

"Darren! You're up!"

"Where-Where is Mr. Cre- Larten?"

"Oh, the guy who brought you here? He's waiting to come in. You're at the hospital, dear!" The nurse beamed at him. "Apparently you fell from quite a height."

"Yeah, everything's fuzzy." Darren agreed, and still beaming, the purple-skinned nurse skipped out to get the vampire.

Darren Shan rested his head in his hands. He had been experiencing weird dreams about everyone lately, about places he had never been too, and faces that certainly were in no paintings that he knew of, other than the ones he tried to do. When he finally connected his past life to his current state, Darren wandered into the city.

And than he had met Larten Crepsley.

Larten had recognized Darren and rushed to bring him in. The outskirts of the dimension were inhospitable to vampires ('Now we know how humans feel' some joked.) Larten had been bringing Darren to meet everyone, carrying him like old times. But Mr. Crepsley still looked like old times. Darren had shoved this observation to the back of his head, and nearly flipped when he saw that some of the patrons to a shop had purple skin. "New arrival!" was hollered up and down the street.

When Darren craned his neck to get a better look at one building, he had somehow become unattached to Mr. Crepsley and fallen, leading to the rather disturbing nightmare.

Crepsley explained that PARADISE was not a term that vampires used.

"We have our standards, Darren. But we are not a religious cult or devoted followers. Many people who hurt others have moved on, forever atoning for their sins, and lately, I have become of the mind that they need to stop beating themselves up. What happened happened, you are sorry, you have atoned, move on. Some never change. Those are the ones that do not make it to this dimension; their souls are trapped in running water."

"So in short, humans have no full and true concept of how a vampire minds' works."

"Correct."

"Well, duh. If I remember correctly, you dangled a chance for me to kill you to find out if you needed to kill me."

"And you have proven yourself admirably over our time together." Crepsley smiled at Darren, the warmth of a proud father etching his face. Then the reality came flooding back in.

The topic draped over them like a thick cloud. Darren stared at his feet for a while, and then lifted his face to Mr. Crepsley.

"…What will happen to Steve?"

The silence stretched on and on in the hospital. Darren had a mixture of feelings in his gut. He cared for Steve. He hated Steve. Steve had taken away Mr. Crepsley, who sat before him now, on the stool pulled next to the bed.

"I do not know the answer. But based upon our beliefs, what do you think will happen?"

Darren's understanding was that the Vampire Gods had indeed given a new place to their entire race. Petty wars were not a deciding factor on the new life, from who won, lost, was right or wrong, but in how one died was teh admittance to this new life.

"I think that I hate and love Steve. I hate that I love him too. He is my brother. And I hate that. I hate the bond that ties us, that can be severed so easily. I keep beating myself up for not listening to him, or just talking to him. I want you both by my side. I want you to be okay with Steve around me. You- you!"  
Darren stopped short and choked, horror filling him, until his body shook. The heart monitor registered the staccato beats of his heart from the feeling.

"Yes, Darren. I would have made a far better father-figure to him that Mr. Tiny ever was. I should not have turned Steve away. It is rare to meet a child so enthusiastic about the vampires. I panicked."

"Meaning?" Darren prompted, after a pause.

"Steve is beautiful, Darren. Vampires are intrinsically built to admire feats of strength, cunning, and even beauty. Steve and you, you both had the attributes. But I tasted insanity in Steve. No- not insanity. Loneliness. He could not handle the admiration that he so desperately craved. I feared to make him a monster."

Crepsley snorts.

"If we had gone back for him….faked his death by having him trip in the graveyard…well, it is too late now for regrets."

Darren studied Mr. Crepsley's face for a long while.

"You admire him." Darren whispered. "He killed you and you-"

"I feel the lure of the power, the grace and ferocity that Steve embodies. If raised as you were, with love and hope, instead of that BITCH-"

Crepsley's voice turns ragged with raw emotion, his claws gripped the side of the bed.

"I saw what that woman did to her own flesh and blood and my skin crawled. Evil comes from somewhere, and not always a dark, or direct place. Should Steve ever tell you," Mr. Crepsley inhaled slowly, "I hope you will love Steve all the same. I understand him better now. Charna's guts. To be killed by Steve…I see now that while he was rude, spoiled, attention-seeking, reckless, dangerous, free, that above all, he was a child." And children are emotional, selfish creatures that know love intimately and are viral in their actions. Steve had no one to show him how to grow up.

"But I do not regret my death. I was furious that Steve separated us, but I see that it was nothing, now. "

Silence reigned in the room. Mr. Crepsley retrieved a glass of water for Darren, and then stepped into the hallway to call the rest of the vampires to report that Darren was fine.

When he came back in, the nurse explained that Darren could leave once the saline solution had finished feeding into his veins.

After a while, Darren caught something Mr. Crepsley murmured into his book.

"Even in death, may you be triumphant.." he had murmured.

"Will he be coming too, then?" Darren asked, curiosity lighting up his face. Hope, fear and apprehension mixed on his face.

"Yes. Steve should arrive one day. But until then, we have a new life."

"Are we still vampires?"

Mr. Crepsley raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I don't have any super-strength, spit, flitting, and I fell from two stories and passed out."

Mr. Crepsley stared at Darren.

"….Will I eventually become a vampire again?"

"We shall see."

Authors' Note: Go read FRUITS BASKET. Or a story written by CLAMP. Broaden your minds.

Sorry. I just got done reading some articles that totally bashed Steve or worshipped the ground he walked on. But really, has anyone thought about how Crepsley felt on all this? Unless there is textual support I have not read yet, Mr. Crepsley most likely pities Steve, a warped, twisted young man that could have been so much better. Frankly, I am doing this story with the fact in mind that a vampire is fundamentally different from humans, and while may be emotionally charged as we are, they most likely are similar to DROW in mind-set. Minus the whole approving of backstabbing.

Not to mention, put yourself in Steve's shoes. Would you have been any different?

Also, review and tell me if this plot line does not flow. I can work on details if I am lacking in that too.

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Author Warfang

Of course I don't own The Saga of Darren Shan (if I did, the Des Tiny would walk into walls from nearing so near sighted

Chapter Three

Today, in this life after death world, Arra Sails was thrashing some of the older and even first Generals of the Vampires. The world was inhabited solely by Vampires (and their mad descendants, the Vampaneze), making strains and chaffs in dealing with day to day life, but everyone managed. The Princes had rolled off to regional ruling, and even had a rudimentary system to exchange rulers with positions every twelve years.

Arra cared little for how the world schematics ran. She was more worried about how the Vampaneze behaved. Some came over to the vampire's side easily enough, just as Kurda- _that traitor….stupid idiot, _had predicted. Others went far away into reaches of the world that others just did not care to head into.

Arra frowned, bending over and retrieving a towel. Kurda….she had seen him just yesterday, right?....._No, _she decides. No one had seen Kurda in a long time. In fact, the Vampaneze heralded Kurda as a peaceful endeavor, doomed from the start, a fool who did his best…..and no one had seen him for quite some time. Arra straightened up.

_Larten may be sore about talking about this over dinner…but we have to know what happened to him._ After all, the Vampaneze were looking for Kurda, and believed he had disappeared.

A shadow fell over her. Arra turned around, and glanced up. Gavner Purl had felt the pull through the psychic link.

"Hey…mind if I join you guys for dinner?" The question was softened because while Gavner certainly held a grudge, even he bitterly admitted that in Kurda's place, they all would have done the same.

"Everyone really seems to want to pin all of our problems on Desmond Tiny." Arra smiled wryly.

"Well, we can look at it this way- everyone here has already served for their crimes, so why continue to hold the deeds against them?"

"Unless we find that their case is special." Arra murmured softly.

Gavner had no reply to that.

Many of the Vampires had finally defaulted to keeping written record after the first thousand years, not wanting all of the stories to become confused with the arrivals and new stories. The books were then shelved, and collected dust until an apprentice needed clarification in keeping track of their own oral stories. There was a magic in spinning tales that could not be found in the volumes. There was also a separate book, not even finished yet, that was to hold the names of all the traitors and cowards. The strange part was, all the cowards and traitors disappeared…the latest being Kurda.

The older Vampires had laughed at Kurda when he explained what he had wanted to accomplish…and Kurda let them. He did not defend himself. He would not bow to their judgment.

When Steve arrived after nearly a hundred years, he soundly cussed out the entire Vampire population at large.

Upon arrival at Paradise (a name that was commonly used), Darren had also reacted vehemently to Kurda until he exclaimed _"It is good and all to hate me and despise my presence-if you reacted any way else I'd tell Crepsley he blooded a brain dead apprentice!"_

"_Wait- you knew what you did was wrong, you still did it-I thought all you regretted was not being able to help?"_

"_Wrong, unavoidable, pointless in retrospect, anything. I am not asking forgiveness. I only want that when you are ready to listen, please let me explain. I did what I believed was right. I have no excuse." _

"_Well, good. Only I and Vancha are the only ones in the know, Harkat. The rest of you should be along soon- though I hope, not too soon._

And now everyone was certain, roughly fifty years after Steve had arrived- Kurda had vanished.

And there was a slim chance he was not the only one.

* * *

Steve moved another piece across the board. Blane growled at him, and moved a rook to parry. Steve deftly moved his queen to check.

"Lad, you should never have taught me chess."

Steve blinked down at the board. Blane maneuvered his bishop into checkmate.

"Amazing….so you do not think these 'mere mental exercises' are boring anymore?"

"Listen, kid, you are only allowed outside with a chaperone especially with the Games so diverse and huge. An accident could easily happen, even just an accident."

Steve sighed. Then moved his knight over one of Blane's pieces and knocked over the bishop.

"Still in check."

"What? I had checkmate!"

"And very clever at that- In fact, you still win." Steve motioned to the board. Blane studied the set, and then nodded.

"Ah, I see."

"Now, I believe that if I got you to agree to the chess set, that the vampires would add a small Hall for such recreations..?"

Blane grunted, and then nodded. "Allows for the injured vampires to learn more about their opponents, and keeps the strain off of most."

"Yes." Steve gave a small smile. "Did you know that I used to dream about this? A world where we had the chance to get along, and in here, we more or less do."

Blane grinned. "Quite reminiscing and get ready. I only agreed to a game and considering the addition if you would go five rounds with me."

Steve grinned back.

"Luck to you, Games Master."

Seba Nile swooped over and barked out "Where's Kurda? He was supposed to go straight to his coffin to sleep."

Noticing the blank looks on the Vampaneze Lord and Games Master faces, Seba huffed and walked off, muttering about spry idiots who should listen to their betters.

"Wait!" Steve cried out. "You said that Kurda was back! You saw him?"

Seba paused, and turned around. "Yes, he staggered through a portal when I was out for a walk. He seems to be in fine shape, but this is the first time in a definitive twenty-five years that anyone has seen him."

"I'll help ask around. Blane, can we post-pone for now?"

"Ah-fine. But you will not have my backing until the five games are done."

"Deal."

With that, Steve rushed out of the Game Halls to run along the outside prairie, mapping the world in his head, calculating a Vampire of Kurda's standing, the terrain, distances, and his apparent…errr, let's say fatigue, Steve decided. Seba had not said that anything was wrong with Kurda.

Mountain ranges full of snow covered the north-west. Another range moved from North to south on the Eastern side. A river spilt the ranges apart, only connecting to the Northern one, though. The desert to the far North caused more worry than the river. There were four forests-two located near the southern sea, that easily wrapped back up to the Northern ranges, and two more located along the river.

There were also some cities. Or, close to cities. Vampires killed during the War of Scars brought back many tales of how the fighting could be commenced in the cities and towns, leading the Vampires to build some prototype settlings, first for amusement, and then for function.

Three cities were near the giant forest, in the south-west portion. One built behind the Far-East mountain ranges. The fifth was built at the Northern end of the same range. The last City was where many vampires wondered if they had gone mad, for it rested in the middle of the lake. Of moving water. Steve wondered if he just so happened to embody insanity. He loved to go diving into the black depths. An addiction.

Steve shook himself. At best, Kurda was at the nearest forest. At worst, he had collapsed somewhere between point A and point B, and Steve really was not in the mood to find out if there was a life after this one.

_I guess that the whole Harkat Mulds theory was being smoothed over, which means that Kurda will no longer be happy to see my face around._

Steve reflected upon his time in the Lake of (LOST) Souls. His real battle had been over why had Darren lied to him. Nothing else mattered. Such a child, people called him. Such a child indeed, Steve scoffed. He knew his crimes. He could justify them in the face of his own scrutiny. He had his time coming, and he had served. He…..did not share this, but he had wanted to stay. He had wanted time to reflect and dwell. No one to interrupt him as he mulled over his past. Killing Shancus was inexcusable- because it was pointless. No- it had not been so, he had proved to Darren how alike they were- but brothers?

Now Steve turned his thoughts to how he had escaped the Lake. He had never felt sorry for himself. In fact, he had scorned those he had tripped in life. In fact, if he was them, this was what he would have done, and then he role-played out their lives.

But, they had not done so. And so Steve had questioned and prodded his memories. And then they came back. Warm sunny days. Comics spread over the bed. Sweaty, muddy, triumphant body beaming with grins through split lips. All the chores he did to buy Darren that new soccer ball……Why had he wanted to become a Vampire again?

O, no…

One word had tolled inside his head, as the church bells would in the city, then. _Culprit._ He was the source. And then Steve cried for his victims. Cried, and sobbed and wailed for far longer than he had stayed in the Lake. _I know you won't forgive me…..but I want to set this right._ The one thought has no sooner echoed through his being than the Lake had spat Steve out as a baby does with displeasing mush.

Steve woke up to find himself in Paradise before Darren. Which was funny. He was quite certain of the time that had passed-oh, well, that was a reflection for another day.

"Has anyone seen a masochistic blonde about my height with three scars on the left cheek? Seba swears that he saw him a while ago!"

Steve certainly had not lost his touch with influencing others through his speech, however.

Mika-ver-Leth certainly had a few choice words to say into his blood at the sight of Steve bounding through the Halls with his body as that of a young adult.

The more savory ones were swallowed with the arrival of the Vampaneze answer. "Negative, sir! We shall search, too!"

And then a two-hundred or so search party swept out. Steve slowed, then jogged down a side passage, yelling a "Thank you!" over his shoulder.

An eyebrow twitched on the Prince's face. The most ruthless killer, and the Vampaneze love him…Charna's guts. Steve even admitted to doing wrong, and the Vampaneze still would not turn on him. _Most likely because Steve had left that note. 'I, Steve 'Leopard' Leonard, hereby declare that in my death, Gannen Varst is to become the next Vampaneze Lord.'_

_That note established the Vampaneze ruling body, which literally was a two person ruling._

"Then the note carried on to explain everything, and why Gannen should be the undisputed leader. Yes, there were those to rock the boat, but with Evanna, everything worked out."

Mika glowered at Crepsley.

"Arra and Gavner wish to speak to you."

"Very well, I shall join them presently. But Mika, please agree with Darren on this if nothing else- the boy certainly knows how to do a funeral pyre."

Crepsley left, striding purposely back to the Hall Steve had left from. He hoped Gavner had found a lead on the next stash of aspirin, given that Steve had recklessly gone off on the hunt for Kurda….

In the early morning hours.

Soon to be covered by an irritating, non-lethal sun.

With no guards.

"Infernal brat!" Crepsley exploded, dashing into the Hall to recruit Arra and Gavner, then head off after the well-meaning, atoning, and stupid Vampaneze Lord.

**OI! I am many things, Mr. C, but crazy and stupid do not apply.**

The entire Hall fell silent.

**Sweet! Guess what Kurda found, everyone?**

Numbness swept through the Vampires.

**Now the Vampaneze have a Stone of Blood! Except, this one has to work through yours for a while. Hope you don't 'mind' the intrusion.**

Crepsley groaned. Steve and his puns!

A/N: Whoah! Nearly six pages! A personal best. Now, the time paradox with Steve will be explained, and there may be a cameo appearance of the Space-Time Witch (snicker doodles to you if you know who that is, sugar-cookies if you don't like peanut butter), and I am comfortable doing this, given what Des Tiny does as a profession. No, this will not be moved to the cross-over section, a few lines and no direct use of names don't warrant that.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Darren Shan. If I did-Muwhahahahahaha!

Ahem.

Chapter 4

Steve bounded into the hall, with Kurda straggling in behind him, weary from the trip. He slumped down next to Mika and proceeded to grab a jug of blood and slurp loudly. Steve called back the Vampaneze.

"OI! I found him!"

The two hundred, which had swelled in number, came back as swiftly as they had departed.

Mika, Darren, Steve, and Crepsley sat with Kurda at the circular table. Arra hovered behind Larten, while Gavner sat across. The table was not in an ideal position, as it was set near the path to allow traffic through the joinin halls, and therefore, was about two-thirds across from the cavern. But as that table was the one where Kurda sat down , that was where everyone gravitated to.

Soon the entire hall was packed, and Steve set the Stone down on the table.

The stone was smaller than the Vampires', but had a deeper sheen of red, and oval shape. There was a distinct lack of swirls that nagged at Darren, until he realized that the Stone must be empty, and was a solid color of only Dragon's blood.

"Care to tell us where you have been, Kurda?" Steve fixed the self-appointed ambassador a patient look, as though he was not ready to jump up and down in excitement. Kurda gave one more pull to the jug and set it down.

"I suppose you all have noticed some time disruptions." Nods came from around the hall.

"Well, Desmond Tiny is not the final say on what happens- we are. That is the basis of all that has happened. And now that you know the morale, would you like to hear the story?"

"Get on with it!"

"Yeah!"

The cries resounded in the hall. Everyone was familiar with Vancha's saying, that Desmond and the sun were their real enemies, and that they should only trust Destiny to tell them one side of the coin, if they trust anything he says at all.

"Alright then. First, let's go back to when Darren became Larten's assistant. You all are familiar with that potion, right? Well, how did he fake Darren's death?"

Seba brought his head up. He had been slipping past the Vampeneze to slap Kurda into a coffin if that was what it took to make Kurda get some rest. After all, bed sheets were always wrapping around sleepers, making any esc- making it impossible to leave anytime soon. "He ran the risk of an autopsy and snapped his neck. Why? How is this important, if I may ask?"

Kurda set the jug of water aside, wiping his mouth.

"Phew. Well, how did Steve kill Shancus?"

"I snapped his neck."

"After…?"

"Huh?" Steve had a blank look on his face.

"What did you do before you walked onto the stage, Steve?"

"Taunt Darren? Threaten them all? I don't get it..."

Steve jerked suddenly, falling off the seat, clutching his heart. His body spasmed, as he gasped out that the feeling in his arm was gone. He twisted.

_The physical sensation was an ache behind his eyeballs. Every nerve ending told Steve that his mind was being torn apart. Then why was his heart jack hammering, his throat dry, painful lumps of ice forming and breaking in his chest. Steve tried to comprehend, he really did, and then he gave into the feelings. He slipped peacefully into sleep, laying there on the floor. _

The Vampeneze had surged forward a Steve's jerked reaction, then he bowed, arching up and clutching his head before he went a deathly still, then slow, even breathing became audible as everyone held their breath, waiting.

Kurda watched dispassionately as Steve's heart tried to sort out the damage Destiny's control had wrecked. Mental manipulation…the idea had made sense when Kurda realized that if Desmond could gift the Vampires with telepathy, and later raise them again as mindless drones, he might have seen a potential threat in Steve deviating from the plan and planted in a form of…insurance.

"I knew you were fighting something all along…"

Darren's hand seized Kurda's shoulder. "I know we are friends, but you don't start talking this can get ugly really fast."

"Well, now that Steve is asleep, where do I begin..?"

"How about with where you went, and we work from there." Gavner glared at Kurda across the table. He then knelt to check on Steve, accepting a Vampeneze's rolled shirt to put under his head.

"Right. Sorry. You see, I went to a place called Draqueen…

_I was standing in a wish-granting shop. The Witch who Evanna had recommended was smiling at me. She was smiling, like she knew something I didn't and she was very pleased by it. The wine and maps I had brought were in the hands of her maids._

_She waved her hand and told me I had five days-"_

"Five days! You were gone for far longer than that! How is that-" Arra bit off her outburst.

Having the entire cavern glare at you had that effect. Kurda wasn't glaring as he was seated sideways to Arra, and Mr. Crepsley wore a slightly miffed expression. Arra really couldn't have yelled that from the other side right into Kurda's ear, now, couldn't she?

"All in good time, Arra." Kurda smiled to show he held no hard feelings, and the resumed.

_I had five days to create a Stone of Blood. Then I felt myself lifted away, everything became bright, and I awoke to strange people standing over me. They told me to take it easy, I was found in the gardens, and I was now in their hospital. I thanked them, introduced myself and asked where I was to go to create a stone made from dragon's blood. I told them I was in a terrible hurry._

Kurda gave a wry smile. _They invited me to lunch. The dragons, they said, were sleeping now, and that Rath would see to a plausible substitute with his own blood from a Dragon Dog, named Crewger. I guessed that if my days were used up, I could use that. The place was strange. I, of course, told them all about us over lunch, and that lasted well into the next morning. I was shown a room, and then the Lord and Officers adjourned to rest and think until lunch. _

_Let me tell you, those grounds are huge. I covered most of them trying to find a quiet place to meditate. I came across Lord Rune, and he suggested the library. I could not believe the size of their maps that covered the walls at all! There were at least three or two other continents, except they both belonged to demons._

_Now, demons are not at all like Vampires, so I was allowed to stay. I travelled some in the town and surrounding areas, but at the end of three days, I was convinced that only dragon's blood could be used._

_I had to leave to find the Dragon called Clover. Miss Cesia whirle me through another portal, into an adjourning dimension. She had a much more careful, though not as trained hand, as Desmond. Once I found him, Clover agreed, and asked that I complete three trials for him, involving some lost treasure, a sword, and some water. The trials were a bit different from our own initiations. I did so, and was returned to the Witch. I paid her again, and she sent me back here."_

Kurda pulled from the water jug again.

"That's it? You disappear for nearly twenty-five years and that is all you did? Talked and traveled and worked?"

Kurda gave a wry smile. "Not very glamorous, I suppose. But I also know why Steve was here a hundred years before Darren. Time flows differently in each dimension. Only in a self-contained sphere does time move the same."

Eyes swept from Steve's prone figure to Darren, who was desperately trying not to strangle his long time friend.

"And it is not my place to blab his secrets, so get used to being disappointed until the effects wear off."

Darren scrutinized Kurda. Then sighing, he sat down.

"So, what now? Wait for Steve to come around and then begin filing the Vampeneze into their Stone?"

The 'well, duh' went unsaid, but was clearly indicated.

"Then let's get the word out, get Steve comfortable, and start prepping a Communal Hall or add a formal location for the Vampeneze to the Halls to make room for an official location. Of course, not all Vampeneze will be receptive…."

Kurda had a feral look on his face as Darren trailed off. "Oh, they will be."

Kurda fingered a flask at his hip. "They will be."

Mika scooted away from Kurda as the Vampeneze edged in closer.

"You see, Destiny can control Steve by planting doubts and suggestions in him, because when we get down to it, he is Destiny's son."

Everyone nodded. "Well, I picked up some Water of Change from the Dragons. That is essentially what their blood is. So," Kurda leaned back, actually bracing himself, "let's put this to a vote- How many Vampeneze want to be Elves instead? Not to bias you, but given what's coming, we will need all the help we can get."

To be continued….

Ahahahahahahaha, not what everyone was expecting, is it? But then again, they are all dead! I can do what I want with my author's license of this story (within reason).

If this is simply to freakishly weird for you, drop a line, and I'll fix what I can. Which means R.E.V.I.E.W.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own. Oh, and there is a (vague) reference to Steve being bisexual, so if the idea of a male Vampire/Vampeneze fighting over Steve disturbs you, relax, that is not exactly what is happening here. Otherwise, go find something else to read.

Kurda looked around at their faces.

"Geez, can no one take a joke?"

The horrified expressions eased into mollified ones, chuckling slightly. Their voices sounded strained, even to themselves.

"You must understand, even though I met the Witch, I never left this dimension. Everything was accomplished by others; I just floated along as some kind of ghost to them. But," Kurda stopped them as questions broke out, "this water is vital to us, she just said we would have to figure that out ourselves."

"Why can't we go there?" Darren's voice carried softly across the hall.

"Well, the first part is that we are dead. The second part is that Desmond is like a local landlord, and we can't move ourselves freely, there are very few who can actually move from one dimension to another. We, of course, are sorely lacking in that regard, Desmond seems very fond of keeping time travel to his own means."

"Oh."

Darren recalled Evanna once saying that there were monsters just waiting to break into their dimension. Why hadn't he thought that there were others in existence outside of this sphere? Darren slid out of his seat and headed off, tracking down Steve. Kurda watched him go, then with a sigh, turned around to the bombardment of queries. He knew he was going to be here for awhile, until Seba stepped in and demanded that he be taken away for rest and food, not to be disturbed for another twenty-four hours. No one argued with the sly old vampire. He had years of experience on all of them.

Larten cornered Kurda a few weeks later.

"There's something that's been bothering me. You said that the other dimension had dragons too."

"Aha, looks like you caught me." Kurda grinned, and shrugged. "There were a few other places I saw. In one, if you drank a dragons' lifeblood, you are unable to die."

Mr. Crepsley fixed Kurda with a hard glare. "O-of course, in this dimension, nothing of the sort happens. But there is one problem. That's all I was told. The rest is for us to figure out." Kurda then ducked under and around Larten, vanishing into a Vampeneze game of tag.

Larten did not feel that being tackled several times was how he wanted to spend his time searching for Kurda, and moved on to one of Darren's lectures.

In these lectures, Darren would patiently explain that if more Vampires would bother learning to read and write, the lectures would no longer be necessary. Steve and Darren were well known to pass notes, and the contents of the notes ranged from personal to deciding on what glade to hold the races in.

Right now, Darren was hard pressed to explain why one of Steve's notes had pink glitter and curly-q hearts on it. Steve maintained that the only paper available was that product, and to direct all other question to Arra Sails, she was the one arranging the theme for the Twelve Years bash, as Steve called it. Three days of getting away from your jobs. Of course it was a big deal.

After disentangling themselves, Steve and Darren walked off, meeting near a tree a few miles into the nearest forest. Not the strongest or the tallest, just one that reminded them of lazy summers gone, where all they wanted was to see who could climb highest.

"So, who are you asking to mate with?"

"Oh, gods, Darren. Do you want me to run a personalized add like last time to help people hook up?"

"The last one certainly was spectacular."

Steve cracked an eye opened. Darren was grinning hugely. "You only found that fiasco funny because you helped me organize and run the identity disclaimer. The only add you did not have time to write and I did was not supposed to indicate that I was searching for a special someone. I was fending people off even after the guy found someone and I crossed out the add!"

"Yes. I recall Gannen Harst having to actually beat one suitor off with a stick."

Steve lounged for Darren. "You knew those two had been fighting over me for weeks!" Wrestling in the ground, Darren gasped out "Yeah, and I think he's still convinced that you are just 'hard to get'."

Steve groaned, rolling off to one side. "What do I do?"

"Not hit me after the first suggestion."

Steve lifted questing eyes up to Darren.

Cliffhanger!


End file.
